Impressing Strangers

          I visited Baltimore this past weekend to meet Professors at Johns Hopkins, and to see if the Physics program there was a good fit for me.  While physicists are not renowned for their sense of style, many of my friends and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to dress for these grad school visits.  This led me to look into the fashion advice typically given to people interviewing for jobs.  What I found was sometimes practical and other times positively painful.

 For women  the rules were:

• Dress a step above how you would be expected to dress for a normal day of work
• Wear a suit, or dress, perhaps dress pants and a blazer for more casual jobs
• Do not wear anything too short, or tight, or low cut
• Wear make up, but not noticeable make up
• Do not wear any attention grabbing jewelry
• Do not wear fragrant perfume
• Do not wear very high shoes
• Do not paint your nails a noticeable color
• Your hair should be styled simply, neatly, and come in a human color
• Do not wear anything trendy it will make you look less serious
• Do not give the interviewer any reason to believe you have a body or a personality
• Curl into a ball and die         

For Men the rules were similarly exciting:

• Dress a step above what you would wear to work
• Wear neat, clean clothing, preferably a suit and tie, but maybe a blazer and dress pants
• If you must wear jewelry you may only wear a watch or a ring
• Leather dress shoes are the only footwear option
• Do not wear anything too trendy
• Do not attempt to be unique

         I want to understand how to balance the very restrictive expectations for how one has to dress to impress powerful strangers, with one's personal sense of style.  While it is important to dress in a way appropriate for your meeting with strangers who may control your life, its also important that you go into the situation feeling confident and comfortable.  Looking good in a traditional suit will not help you if you feel terrible.  Your clothing should give you a confidence boost to help you navigate these nerve racking situations.  I would say a reasonable goal is carve out a comfortable place for yourself within the existing rules for dressing to impress powerful strangers.  Think carefully about when to ignore, and when to follow the generic soul sucking fashion advice prescribed for interviews.  Try to introduce one unique element to your outfit--nothing crazy--just enough to remind yourself and your interviewer that you are a real human, and to give something to help them remember you.  

Wearing a top hat and being a dinosaur are not required
for a successful interview outfit.  Still you want to walk in
feeling about as snazzy as this dinosaur.

          When deciding what to wear to meet a powerful stranger, you should always get a sense of what the dress code is in the place you are visiting.  Talk to a human about this.  Dressing professionally means something different on the East Coast than it does on the West Coast, than it does in the South.  You will save yourself the stress of struggling to interpret cryptic terms such as "Business Casual" by calling Human Resources, or your recruiter, or someone connected to the powerful person you intend to meet, and just asking how to dress.  Yes, this requires talking to a real live human, but I assure you, you can do it.  This will give you a starting basis.  If you cannot get this information, lean on the conservative side of what you expect to be appropriate for the situation.  You will not be penalized for being slightly overdressed, but you may be looked down on for being slightly underdressed.

          From this information you can establish a basic idea about what to wear.  For men this is typically at least a blazer and nice pants.  At most this is a black suit.  Because men have limited clothing options, the condition and fit of the clothing become immensely important.  It is perfectly fine if you cannot afford a high quality suit.  If the dress code allows it, you can invest in a nice blazer instead.  If that is still out of budget, take the blazer or suit you already own to the tailor or dry cleaner for cleaning, repair and fitting prior to the interview.  A cheap suit that fits well, and looks tidy will command more respect than a derelict expensive suit.  That said, you should still invest in a wool, silk, or cotton suit if you can afford to do so.  Less expensive suits are polyester, which will require more upkeep to make presentable.  If you do not own a suit or blazer, you can probably find an affordable one at a consignment store, a Men's Warehouse, or by waiting for major holiday sales.

For visiting a grad school, this is about as well as the professors themselves dress.
While the color of the pants may not show in this image, their lovely maroon powers
are the source of personality in this ensemble.

          In any of these cases, you will want to invest your money into the care and tailoring of your suit.  You should be able to move around comfortably.  The sleeves should end a half to quarter inch above your shirt sleeves, and land where your thumb meets your wrist.  The shoulder pads should end at your shoulders.  The bottom of your jacket should land around where your knuckles are when your arms hang straight down.  You should be able to slide your flat hand under the lapels when the top button is fastened, but you should not be able to fit a fist under the lapel without tugging on the buttons.  You may not be able to find a blazer that fits all of these criteria right away, but this should give you some ideas on what to look for.

          With all of this talk about the precise fit of a suit, it can be hard to imagine where the personality fits in.  Unless you are applying for a finance or legal job, you can have some fun with the color of the suit, dress shirt and tie (if you wear a tie).  Instead of a white dress shirt, you can try a pale pink, light blue, or lavender, paired with an optional tie of a darker complimentary color and possibly a simple pattern.  To exude extra personality consider a skinny tie or bow tie.  The skinny tie best suits leaner builds, but can look very fashionable on those who wear them well.  The bow tie is difficult to pull off without resembling a weatherman or college professor (unless that is your goal) and may exude more personality than your interviewer was prepared for.  To make the bow tie work, start with simple patterns or solid colors that compliment or are a similar color to your jacket without matching it identically.  You can wear a blazer and pants of different colors for less formal situations.  As I said last week, nice looking olive or maroon dress pants will make you look unique and put together as long as you match the other colors in your ensemble to your daring pants. If you must wear a suit, navy is likely the best color option.  It is elegant, and looks great on a wide variety of skin tones.  

          You will also want to make sure your shoes are shiny and without signs of wear.  Try to remember to bathe and shave the day you encounter the powerful stranger.  Releasing your man scent in their presence will not impress them.  You can be clean shaven, or wear a closely cropped groomed beard. Your lumberjack beard may hurt you in more conservative environments.  Outside of these you can rock your inner lumberjack as long as said lumberjack keeps his beard clean and neatly kempt.

          Now maybe a neatly kempt face, clean body, well fitting clothing, and shiny shoes don't make you feel confident, even with the possible addition of interesting colors.  Maybe you feel best in crazy patterns, mutton shops, and gym shorts.  In this case you must be sneaky with your personality.  You can wear a fun jacket and colorful patterned scarf right before you walk into meet the powerful stranger, and then remove them before walking in to meet them.  This gives you a chance to have a more funky layer of clothing on that you can remove right before the stranger with a boring sense of style sees you.  The other option is to wear something under your clothing that makes you feel confident, maybe its a silly shirt you can fit under your dress shirt, maybe its a pair of banana boxers, or flamingo socks. In the most conservative environments, I would be cautious about the flamingo socks, as they may look unprofessional if someone spots them.  Regardless of what you wear on top, you can at least have this little bit of secret joy to give you the boost you need.

Your secret weapon for serious interviews

          For women, dressing professionally can be especially restrictive, as looking too feminine can come off as unprofessional.  I find no joy in a pant suit, business appropriate high heels, and straightened natural colored hair.  So in navigating professional clothing I put a large amount of thought into which interview dress rules to follow and which to disregard.  As with men, the most important thing is to look neat.  This could mean executing a slightly unique but subtle style of make up expertly, or aiming for that 'natural' makeup look.  Looking neat means wearing clothing that fits you properly, is free of stains or damage, wearing shoes that are in good condition and arranging your hair into a controlled shape, that will not require you to fuss with it in front of the powerful stranger.  If you do not have money for professional clothing, you can get said clothing from a consignment store, or on sale.  As with men, having clothing in good condition is more important than having high quality clothing.

Have we seen this before?  Yes!  It's my surviving the cold
sweater dress.  It is also my surviving grad school visits
sweater dress.

         For more casual settings a women may impress an interviewer wearing a dress or a blazer and dress pants.  These must be fairly conservative.  The skirt should reach to about your knee, Your top should cover your shoulders and back, and should be neither low cut nor tight.  You can make the dress more interesting by wearing a cowl  neck, a wide neck with a long subtle piece of jewelry, or with an interesting but simple pattern.  If you are opting for a blazer, and pants or a skirt, black pants or a black skirt will give you the most flexibility, but gray and navy are also workable options.  These can be paired a variety of different blazer colors.  The blouse you wear under the blazer should have a conservative cut, but may have more color, or a more interesting but still mature pattern than other pieces of your outfit.  The blouse is not particularly exposed, so you can sneak in some personality here.  Pick a blouse with a color that brings you joy and suits you well.  If this color is very bright, or does not match your jacket, try to find a more toned down version of the color.  Some professional blouses have ruffles or knots.  If you are fond of these, they offer another route for injecting personality into your outfit.  You can also add a colorful scarf over a plain blouse as long as the colors play nice with each other

While adding a scarf over pajamas (as shown here) is rarely
 if ever interview appropriate, you can at least appreciate
what a more formal scarf would look like.

          For more formal encounters you may need a real woman's suit.  You have more freedom to select interesting colors than men do, but navy or black are safe defaults when in doubt.  In these situations you still need the professional blouses described above, though you may want to stick to more conservative colors.  If you opt for a black or navy suit, you have some limited options as to where the personality can sneak in.  You may wear a high quality colorful scarf, or interesting shoes.  Most interview advise suggests that you wear mid to low black closed toed heels.  As someone who needs the extra height, I would  simply disregard this advice, and wear high black heels that I can walk in, or high heels that have a bit of color for less formal settings.   This is one example of how you can decide if the typical advice about dressing for strangers appropriate for you, and if not, how to adapt the look without offending these mysterious beings who seem to have painfully uninteresting fashion sense.

These are interview appropriate heels.  If some fool thinks they
are too high, you can stab them using these same heels to prove
them wrong.

          The key to bending the typical  rules of interview style is to do so, while maintaining the tidy kempt appearance, and choosing your streaks of personality strategically.  Balance out your unorthodox element with more conservative elements elsewhere.  If you find you must wear a suit, and hair and makeup that does not make you feel confident and powerful, there is one last trick you can use.  Like the boys, you can wear a fun overcoat before encountering the powerful stranger.  You can also wear your sexiest undergarments under your suit.  No one will see them, and you get to feel powerful and sexy when wearing something that would have the opposite effect on you otherwise.

I like to sneak my personality in through my shoes.  These deep
red shoes are conservative enough for a less formal meeting
with a powerful stranger, but powerful enough to crush your enemies.

          Remember the most important thing is that you feel like an unstoppable dinosaur when walking into the meeting with a powerful stranger.  Your confidence and comfort will speak for themselves.  That said, you still have to play the game, and dress in a way unoffensive to the interviewer.  So do dress according to the guidelines of the environment you are entering, but don't forget to insert a bit of your own personality into your outfit as well.  Just remember to balance your more rebellious pieces with more traditional pieces elsewhere.  If executed well that scarf or those shoes may be the small token that leaves you feeling unstoppable, and helps your interviewer remember you.

          

Stay Warm Look Cool

          Just when we thought winter would let us off easy, February happened.  And it brought snow, subfreezing temperatures, and wind chill in its wake.  It's easy, especially for someone tiny like myself, to get buried under all of the layers of clothing necessary to stay warm.  It's also easy for someone tiny like me to get very cold very fast.  While the temperature seems to be warming up, winter isn't quite over yet.  Below I have compiled cold tested ways to stay warm without looking like a marshmallow.

          As always I will address the ladies first.  Starting with footwear.  During this time of year the ground is covered in slush, ice and salt.  This will ruin your shoes and be a safety hazard.  That said, I am bored of seeing so many of the same shapeless low heeled below the knee boots.  If you want to be practical and not look like everyone else, I would say to go for festive snow boots, or medium height heeled chunky boots with a rubber soul.  This will look less monotonous while still allowing you to easily navigate the cold.  For those cold days when the ground isn't covered in ice and snow, you can pull out more fun impractical shoes as long as they cover your entire foot, and do not  significantly slow you down.

Boots like these are simple, and practical for navigating
the slush tundra.

          I have noticed slim fitting over the knee boots seem to be emerging as a trend.  If you have these, great, if not, you can easily improvise them.  You can create a very toasty illusion of an over the knee boot by wearing over the knee socks or leg warmers with a matching pair of shoes.  I tested this out with leg warmers and was very very warm.  If you want more color and do not mind breaking your legs up, wear bright color socks or leg warmers to introduce some cheer into the gloomy February weather, just make sure to match the other colors you are wearing to your socks if you do this.

          With overall ensembles you will need many layers to stay warm.  To avoid drowning in clothes, try to only allow visible bulk on your upper or lower body.  If you do both, you will be lost in your clothing.  If you do neither you will freeze.

          I have seen many of you ladies wearing leggings as pants when there is snow on the ground.  Maybe you just hate having feeling in your legs.  Sure leggings can be wonderfully useful when it is freezing outside, but not in place of pants.  When it gets very cold outside I wear leggings or stockings everyday, but never by themselves.  They are a great tool for layering.  As I mentioned above, over the knee boots are currently in style.  Typically people pair these with a large sweater, and short skirt, leaving an enticing slice of thigh exposed.  You will not care how enticing your thighs are if you can't feel them.  I do not suggest leaving any skin you cannot cover with a coat exposed, but you can still get this look.  Instead of leaving your thighs bare, wear a pair of nude stockings or nude leggings, and leg warmers inside of or in place of your over the knee boots.  If you opt to wear stockings, make sure the socks/leg warmers are snug as the stockings will make them slide around.  Another way to layer with leggings is to wear them under a long skirt, dress, or jeans.  No one will see them, but the leggings will allow you to feel wonderfully warm while wearing clothing you typically save for warmer weather.  If your jeans are too tight for leggings. at least add a pair of sheer stockings, every little bit of extra layering helps.

Don't be fooled by what you see here.  I am wearing
leg warmers and stockings to look like I am wearing
boots over my bare legs.  I am much warmer as a result.

          For your torso big comfy sweaters and sweater dresses are your best friend.  A sweater dress will keep you warm, and fit closely to your body, so you can remember you have one after dressing like a marshmallow all winter.  You can always wear a fun bright pair of leggings or most of the leg wear described above with a sweater dress.  Most winter clothing is dark, so don't be afraid to wear bright colors.  You will stand out, and bring some cheer in the face of dreary weather.  The other warm option is a chunky sweater.  This will totally conceal the shape of your torso.  Typically you can balance this out with a tight skirt and form fitting leg wear (it had better be more than just leggings).

This dress has a giant cowl neck (extra loose fabric at
the neck) which gives me many different ways to wear it.
Here is an off the shoulder look.

Here is the dangling cowl look  

Here is the fuzzy jedi look

This is the look for when you don't want to talk
to or look at other humans.

          If you are not a sweater person, you will need to become a layering expert for the sake of your torso.  Start out with a tank top.  Add a well fitting long sleeve shirt, and a cardigan, vest, or giant scarf.  You can perhaps wear the scarf with the cardigan or vest, but please do not wear all three at once.

LAYERS! MORE LAYERS THAN YOUR
BODY CAN HANDLE!  (Disclaimer: Don't actually
wear more layers than your body can handle)

          Notice I said giant scarf.  Put your wimpy sheer scarves away until spring.  Even the scarves that you wear as mere accessories should be substantive (and match your outfit, but that is a given).  This will add a lot of volume to your upper body.  This is best balanced with a fun pair of slim fitting jeans.  If you feel like showing of your upper body, make sure to show skin that a coat will cover.  The exposed midriff, off the shoulder look, and plunging neckline are all very current looks.  You do not need to abandon them because it is cold.  Simply choose one patch of skin, and cover the rest of your body.

With a winter jacket on I was able to comfortably
wear this out when it was 18 degrees outside.
"How is that possible?!" you ask.

SURPRISE ATTACK LEGGINGS (and fuzzy
socks)!  That's how.

          Despite the necessity of practicality to survive the season, winter fashion tends to be quite extravagant.  During this time of year, sequins, fake fur, and anything sparkly are more widely accepted.  So go all out.  Bracelets and necklaces are good to wear in the cold.  Just try to wear them over your clothing.  The metal will get cold quickly, and feel uncomfortable in direct contact with your skin.  Rings make it difficult to wear gloves, and should probably be avoided.  Decorating your hair, or putting in up with sparkly head pieces can be very pretty and feel very feminine when the rest of your body is covered.  If you have long hair, you should probably tie it up in something you can put under a hat.  Otherwise the wind will destroy you.  Speaking of hats, you should definitely have one.  Beanies, embellishehed knit head bands, and berets are both fashionable and warm.  I have found that the cold and the wind irritate my eyes when I have contacts in.  If you need vision correction and own glasses, those are the better option for the cold, they won't dry out your eyes, and offer a small amount of protection.

          If you want to wear makeup in this weather, as with when you go dancing, you must be kind to your skin.  You basically want moisturizing everything.  You want to start with a moisturizing foundation that will not rub onto your scarves and turtlenecks.  You probably do not need much  blush, the cold air will give you a natural flush.  Use a moisturizing lipstick, or better yet a tinted lip balm.  Your lips will thank you.  The wind and cold may make you tear up so waterproof eye makeup will be your friend this season.

These are my sheer scarves.  Why are they over my bed?
They are hibernating until spring.  They are simply too
wimpy to stand up to the cold weather.

          Now gentlemen, it's your turn to be warm!  Much like the ladies, you achieve this by layering.  If you have long underwear, or tight running pants aka man leggings, you can wear these under your pants for an extra layer of warmth.  Heavy jeans, and corduroy pants are probably your warmest options.  Corduroy pants tend to look more put together than jeans.  You can look noticeably interesting if you wear either of these in a deep but less common color such as maroon, olive, or navy.  For your torso a safe default is to wear an undershirt, and an interesting button down, with a sweater over it.  You can make the button down sweater combo more exciting by wearing a button down with an ornate, or at least mildly stimulating,  pattern, and folding the collar of the button down over the sweater.  If you can color coordinate this you  are already beating most men out there.  If you are feeling more adventurous, try wearing a vest, cardigan, or casual blazer.  You can even wear the vest with the cardigan or blazer, or a cardigan/blazer over a sweater button down combo.  The options are endless!  (By which I mean here are at least four options). Now gentlemen, you also wear scarves.  Be like the ladies and retire your lightweight scarves.  Winter calls for MANSCARVES.  Try to wear ones with fun colors or patterns (colorful scarves can be still MANSCARVES as long as they are warm), as most of your winter clothing is likely rather dark and bland. The key to making all of these visible layers work is to pair the colors intelligently.  The image below should help you think about how to pair colors between all of your visible layers.

That's right men! You can wear colors!
Now revel in your new colorful freedom

Bar-trek: Local 44

          This week, my housemates and I had the mind boggleing realization that we were all old enough to legally go to a bar.  We commemorated this momentous occasion with a visit to Local 44 on the North East corner of 44th and Spruce.  Yelp had indicated that Local 44 also served respectable real people food, not just alcohol.  Yelp even claimed that "Vegetarians Love this Place," which is good for the 1.5 vegetarians in the house.  I deemed these claims worth investigating.  Local 44 looks like a standard bar--dim lighting, dark wood, and high stools.  It's cozy. It's unpretentious.  It's somewhat uninspired.

Local 44

          The waitress handed us menus on the back of what appeared to be pages from an ancient refrigerator repair manuals.  I can only assume this was intended to boost Local 44's street cred with the local hipster populous.  The waitress was very knowledgeable about the drinks available.  This was Local 44's strong point.  They offered an interesting variety of beers and ciders, and the staff had the knowledge necessary to help us navigate their beverage options.  One housemate ordered the "Lose This Skin" a fruity fizzy unfiltered cider that was enjoyed by everyone who tried it.  Another housemate ordered then "Nugget Nectar."  He found it to be a bit too bitter but finished the drink.  I thought it tasted like the bar floor.  Maybe you need to be a beer connoisseur to enjoy that one.

If you ignore the slightly unappetizing name,
Lose the Skin was quite enjoyable. 

If you ignore the bar floor taste Nugget Nectar was
actually still a drink.

          We ordered Scallion Hushpuppies with a smoked maple mustard dipping sauce for the table.  These had a nice crunch, and some interesting flavors introduced by the sauce.  However, one housemate declared that the hushpuppies at Baby Blue's BBQ are superior.  Most of us lacked this reference point and were able to enjoy our hushpuppies.

The scallion hushpuppies had already succumbed to the uncontrollable
 hunger of my housemates at the time this photo was taken.

          We then ordered the Buffalo Bar Wings (chicken wings), the Cubano sandwich with ham, jalapeno mustard, pickles and Swiss cheese, and the Mac and Cheese with jalapenos.  The wings were deemed perfectly good, though nothing special.  The person eating the Cubano clearly enjoyed their sandwich, as they exerted a great effort to get a good picture of the sandwich.  When asked how the sandwich actually tasted, said person was too busy continually filling their mouth with it to give a reply other than a thumbs up.  I will treat that as an endorsement.

And here we have the fruit of the noble labor the person eating the
Cubano put into photographing their food

          The Mac and Cheese was rather plain, even with the addition of jalapenos.  These added some subtle kick, though one fellow diner felt there was no kick at all.  A sharper cheese would have been a welcome addition to the dish.

Try as they might, the jalapenos were not able to make this
dish interesting.

          In the end, Local 44 is a bar.  A bar that just so happens to sell food.  Come here for drinks, especially if you enjoy interesting beer and cider.   I would not say the food was interesting enough for me to suggest it as a dinner spot, but they do produce better bar food than many places in the area.  The food is perfectly good, just uninspiring, as bar food often is.  However,  it was surprisingly not greasy.  So while you are there for drinks, you can order some snacks, and actually enjoy what you are eating without feeling like a greaseball.

What to Wear to Go Out Dancing

          Dancing is one of my favorite ways for spend a Friday or Saturday night.  If you do not understand the joys of flailing shamelessly to good music, leave now.  Leave now and dance.  Dance until you understand.  Only then may you return to finish this post.

          If you have made it this far, I assume you must take some joy in spending a night out dancing, or are just too enthralled to stop reading.  In either case, a night of dancing can be a wonderful experience.  It is even more fun when you are dressed for the occasion.  Whether you are going to a salsa club, a standard club, a bar, or your best friend's crowded basement, when getting dressed to go out dancing, your first priority should be to enjoy dancing.  Looking good comes next.  Comfort and mobility are essential to a successful night of shameless flailing.  In this post I will focus on how to dress to maximize dance floor comfort while still looking snazzy.

        Let's start by talking about how to dress if you are a woman.  To dress for a night of dancing we must start thinking from the ground up, literally.  Your shoes will dictate how long you can dance before your feet begin to resent you.  Comfortable, stylish flats, fancy sneakers or low heels are the best option.   If you are like me, and unwilling to part with your high heels, opt for a wedge heel, or something that covers your foot fully.  This shoe will have more stability than a strappy stiletto and won't slice your feet as they slide around.

I wear higher heels than this to the gym, still interesting flats
like these will get you comfortably and stylishly through the night.

These chunky sneakers look cool and are harboring a
surprise attack heel on the inside.

          Moving on up, it is considered socially acceptable to cover your legs with something.  While any blob of cloth will get the job done, some are better for dancing than others.  You want the most mobility and comfort.  Trade your favorite pair of going out skinny jeans for jeggings or faux leather leggings.  These are quite stylish and allow a far wider range of motion.  In lieu of other leg coverings jeggings and leather leggings tend to look more put together than normal leggings, but still show off your legs nicely.  You can also show of your legs in a skirt.  I would opt for a skirt that fits at the waist, or perhaps hips, and is loose and flowy over your upper legs.  The skirt need not, and likely should not be particularly short or tight.  This is not so much a matter of modesty as it is of practicality.  Tight and short skirts restrict the range of motion of your legs, and tend to ride up.  A circle skirt or skater skirt that reaches your mid thigh or lower will emphasize your waist with less threat of riding up.  You can wear booty shorts underneath your skirt to avoid flashing anyone when the skirt flares up.  Skirts like these also show off your dance skills when they move around.  You can also wear a romper or dress where the skirt has the same cut as those described above.  Shorts, just not jean shorts, leave your legs bare and give you full mobility without risk of flying up.  If these options do not bring enough attention to your legs you can wear patterned stockings with any of these options. Patterned stockings emphasize the shape of your leg.  Bear in mind, they will likely be a focal point of the outfit.  The more attention grabbing the stockings are, the more muted the rest of your clothing should be.

It's a dress!  It's a skirt!

No, it's a romper!
The built in shorts of a romper make them a great
 choice for dancing while not flashing total strangers.

          Maybe you do not feel like showing off your legs. That's fine too.  A great option for dancing are wide legged patterned pants.  These pants move as you dance showing off your dance skills.  Their exciting pattern can be the central focus of your outfit.  These pants are amazingly comfortable on a hot dance floor, and can conceal a high heel if you want to sneakily gain extra height...or if you have ugly shoes.  Wide legged pants tend to draw attention to and can add volume to your hips and butt.  Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to you.  Another option is a fitted maxi skirt made of flexible material, and with slits in the sides.  The stretchy material, and slits will allow you to move around freely, while the closer fit will prevent strangers from getting tangled in your long skirt.

These pants give me the power to dance and the
power to stand in strange positions.

        Now that you have shoes and bottoms on you are almost ready to walk out of the house without violating nudity laws.  Now you just need a top.  Wear something with sleeves or straps that hold the top up.  This avoids constantly pulling up your top while dancing.  Cutouts can be a great way to look sexy, and stay cool without risking that the top will move around while you dance.  If you do not need to wear a bra, an open back can be a great option.  If you do need to wear a bra, just having cutouts in the back that still cover your bra may be preferable.  Side cutouts, cutouts just under your collarbones, and cropped tops that reveal a slice of your midriff are great options for anyone.

          Now, you are clothed and just about ready to go.  Before you cake on the dramatic club makeup, remember you will be dancing, and your face will melt from the heat and sweat.  Be kind to your skin instead.  If you choose to wear makeup, use a lightweight tinted moisturizer instead of standard foundation.  The moisturizer will help hydrate your skin as you lose water from dancing.  Stick to a lightweight powder blush.  If you want dramatic eyes, use waterproof mascara and eyeliner.  This will prevent your sweat from giving you the irritated raccoon look.  If you want to avoid any risk of raccoon eyes, bring the drama in your lips instead.  A moisturizing bold lipstick, or lip stain won't melt the same way your eyes might, and will keep you lips looking and feeling healthy though the night.  If you want to do your hair, do something that can survive hours of flailing, and won't wack the people around you if you turn suddenly.  Tying you hair up in a low ponytail will help keep you cool and not injure innocent bystanders (unlike a high ponytail).  Keep it to a simple bun, ponytail, or half up half down look.  You can add a braid going over the front or side of your head, or a sparkly headband for a more put together look.  Anything more complicated than this will likely not survive your night of dancing.  You can add jewelry for pizzazz.   Just make sure it is the sort of jewelry that won't maim everyone within a 10ft radius once you start moving around.

The necklace and purple lipstick will trick people into
thinking I a put together.  The necklace is heavy and short
so it won't kill people while I dance.

          Men you are both lucky and unlucky in the dressing to dance department.  On the one hand, getting dressed is less complicated, on the other, staying comfortable, and looking good are often at odds.  A safe bet is to wear dark clothing made of comfortable fabrics.  Starting from your shoes, black sneakers, fashionable sneakers, or any kind of shoe that is dark or trendy will do just fine.  Dress shoes can get uncomfortable and are generally overly formal for a simple night of dancing.  Unless you are wearing very trendy shoes that you want to show off, most people will not notice them.  You are better off opting for comfortable dark shoes than over thinking your footwear.

          While shorts may feel cool, they don't look cool in most outfits men wear dancing.  Opt for a lightweight pair of dark slim or straight cut jeans, or a dark pair of cotton or linen pants.  The structured cotton or linen pants offer the most mobility, and comfort.  On top you have more options.  You can keep it simple with a button down or collared shirt.  Grey, navy, and black are always safe colors to go with, but don't be afraid to wear other colors that suit you.  Speaking of suits, throwing a cotton blazer over a t-shirt and jeans is comfortable and looks cool.  Pick a darker or graphic t-shirt to wear under the blazer, so that if you get too warm you can take off the blazer without looking sloppy.

          Gentlemen, you are often rather sweaty creatures.  This is perfectly fine and natural, but can become embarrassing for you, and awkward for your dance partner.  A great way to avoid sweating through your shirt is to wear an undershirt.  This will absorb much of your sweat and prevent it from reaching your button down.  If you opt to wear a t-shirt, it may be wise to bring a back up.  You will probably be more comfortable in a dry shirt anyway.  On behalf of all other humans sharing the dance floor with you, I beg you not to douse yourselves in Axe in an attempt to cover your man-sweat smell.  A good deodorant or antiperspirant, and a subtle cologne will do the trick without risking suffocating those around you.

          Now that you know how to dress yourself, DANCE!