WTF is Back to School

        Hey humans, guess what?  It's just about September.  Which means it is back to school time.  Maybe some of you are a bit old for thinking about back to school.  However,  if you are in graduate school, like I am, you will never be too old to think about back to school, you will be in school for the rest of your life, (by which I mean the next 4-6 years).  Even if you aren't in any sort of educational environment, the idea of "back to school style," whatever that means, can still be applicable to you.  I don't even watch and have still been bombarded with back to school clothing ads.  This made me wonder, what is back to school clothing, and why is it being advertised on every single Youtube video I watch?

        Going back to school means meeting many new people, and seeing old ones you have not seen in a long time. Back to school time represents a major opportunity to decide how you want this whole new, or old, community to see you.  For those of us in school, it is similar to what people experience after New Year, when they resolve to change themselves.  Honestly, I think back to school is a better opportunity to start fresh than New Year's Day is.  A person's resolutions to change just aren't that convincing when you just saw them the night before sloppy drunk at a New Year's Eve party.  But when you go back to school you have the entire summer to let people forget all of the dumb or terrible stuff you did before.  Even if you are no longer involved in school, the idea of a chance to reinvent yourself for a new community is pretty universal.

Maybe it is the plastic america number goggles,
maybe it is the quantity of alcohol this man must have consumed,
but something about New Year's Eve revelers just does not convince me of their ability to follow through on those New Year's resolutions.

        How you dress can play a key role in dictating how new friends, or old acquiescences perceive you.  This is why people care about back to school clothing.  Its a tool in helping them reshape how others see them.  Certainly your personality should speak louder than how you look, but the way you present yourself can become something like a filter through which people perceive your personality, at least for first impressions.  So no, despite what retailers and magazines will tell you, there isn't a specific set of clothing earmarked as back to school fashion.  Anything they are pushing right now is probably just fall fashion and the same for people who aren't going back to school.  Retailers are just trying to turn your insecurities, and your desire to be seen as likable into money.  I know...shocking. So how are we supposed to approach this nebulous concept of back to school style if it isn't a real thing after all, especially if we want to decide how people view us?  This September is my 18th back to school in my life.  I have attempted to reinvent myself for a good number of those, and even occasionally succeeded. So I will offer my thoughts on the matter.

The fashion industry is preying on your insecurities to sell you stuff?!
Patrick is shocked

1. Decide how you want to be seen

        The whole point of back to school style is to help people see you the way you want to be seen.  You can't do much in this department if you don't even know what you want.  For example, my senior year of high school started after a major break up that left me very unsure of myself.  I wanted to feel attractive, so I ended up wearing a lot of short skirts and high shoes that year.  In that time, I learned that I liked dressing well.  So that became part of my reinventions in college.  As I felt more proud of being different my goal became to present myself as unique, interesting and cool, and intentionally avoiding being pinned down to one type of style.  So ask yourself how you want people to see you.  Do you want to be taken seriously? To be seen as very clean and traditional? Approachable? Cool? Chic? Edgy? The options are endless, and any combination of them is fine.  What is important is that you are still being true to yourself.  You are deciding what about yourself you want people to see, not inventing an imaginary person to play dress up as.  If you are super into makeup and you want a legion of instagram followers, go ahead and glop the make up on.  If you don't enjoy makeup or have the patience for it, then this probably isn't a good way for you to try looking pretty.  If you do not care about how you dress, then don't start pretending to.  You will attract people with different values then you that you might not care for.

This child is not actually a shark, he is just pretending to be one.
He is doing back to school wrong.

2. Realistically think about how much effort you want to put in

        Most of us work very hard to look good on the first week of school, and then look like sad potato sacks by finals week.  I know, I do this too.  Starting a new back to school look or routine is entirely pointless if you can't actually maintain the look once classes kick into full swing.  For example, I do not have the patience to mess with my hair most days.  I want to get out of bed, shake my head around, and have my hair look good.  So I would be wasting my time trying to rock a hairstyle that requires fastidious attention, when I know I won't want to deal with it in a few weeks.  There might be things you care about and are willing to put time or effort into caring for.   This is great, but make sure you have something else you can be lazy about to leave time for the more intensive aspects of your routine.  If you are ready to invest time in an elaborate look, awesome.  If you are lazy, own it. You can look exactly the way you want to in either case, if you put some thought in ahead of time.

Me, attempting to look presentable at the end of the semester.

3. Think about what your life actually allows you to wear.

        Your look will implode if you can't simultaneously wear it and live your life.  Think, what sort of constraints does your school or work life put on how you dress?  Do you need to walk around a lot? Do you need to use your hands? Do you need to look professional?  Maybe you are like me and have to take a short trek through the woods to get to classes.  In that case, leave your heels at home (or in your bag).  Maybe you work at a bank but want to look like you belong in a punk band.  Then you may have to reserve the look for weekends.  I am all for self expression, but not at the expense of comfort, practicality, or your ability to pay rent.  Just be aware of the demands your life puts on you, and how these impact the way you can present yourself.

If you are really like me, you see these as a perfectly
appropriate pair of hiking boots.

4. Build an achievable a look that makes you feel good.

        So you know what you want people to see when they look at you, and how much you are willing to or can do to make that happen.  Now you have to put these ideas into action.  If you are down to invest large amounts of time in how you look, you probably don't need my advice.  But if you are lazier, or have a limited understanding of how to look the way you want, read on!

LAZY PEOPLE UNITE!

        One of the easiest ways to transform how you look is with a hair cut, and/or change of facial hair for my hirsute friends out there.  Simpler, neater, and sleeker cuts tend to look more professional, more serious, and more approachable.  More experimental, textured, or complicated cuts look more cool, edgy and distinctive.  Talk to the stylist about how much effort you are willing to put in, and how to give you a cut you want that you can actually still rock once school gets busy.  For the men out there, if you don't have the time or patience to shave everyday, being clean shaven probably isn't for you.  Facial hair tends to look less professional, so if you want to look professional and be lazy, keep a neatly trimmed beard of some sort.  If you want to be lazy and look like a bad ass, just rock stubble all the time.  If you do not grow facial hair evenly and want to look like a person who bathes, please clean shave.

Look! It looks like I am trying to be presentable.  Secretly I am
being lazy.  YAY NEW HAIRCUT!

        You can take a similar approach with your wardrobe.  First make sure your clothing fits and makes you feel good about yourself.  Then, research the style that interests you, and put together outfits that fit this style.  I mean this literally.  Literally put outfits together in your closet.  If you are not busy right now, you will be soon.  It will be much easier to keep up your look if you have outfits ready to go and don't have to think about it during midterms.  You may not even need any new clothing.  You could just wear what you already have in a different way.

        Finally, consider the details of your look.  A pair of sunglasses can make you look cool, a watch can make you look professional.  You do not need to think about extensive accessories to complete your look every day.  Instead, make sure you have something that you can wear most days, will not take much effort to put on, and will round out your look.  A pair of shoes that goes with your style is the easiest example of this.  Most of us need to wear shoes anyway.  They are a detail that can say quite a bit about you.  If you want to look professional loafers, or low simple pumps are the way to go.  For a preppy look, rock boat shoes or flip flops.  For a cooler look, high top sneakers are always a good option.

To look cool just wear sunglasses,
at night,
indoors,
forever

        In the end, there is no such thing as "back to school clothing."  It is just the clothing you wear once school starts.  What clothing stores and magazines try to sell us is the belief that if we do what they suggest we will become the person we always wanted to be. This isn't how it works.  Like new year's resolutions and diets, any changes you make to go back to school will quickly disappear if they don't fit into your life.  If you intend to change how you present yourself to the world, remember to make it easy on yourself.  Get a haircut you can actually look good in after an all nighter, grab some shoes and accessories you can wear without maiming yourself (or others),  and have outfits planned out so you don't have to think about matching colors when you wake up 10 minutes before your class that is a 20 minute walk away.  The remaining details of how you build your back to school look depend on who you want to be seen as, and that's unique to you.  Remember, you are reinventing your look to show the world your favorite parts of yourself, not someone else's idea of what you are supposed to look like.  Good luck this year!

The Good, the Bad, the Cheesy: Ranking of Pizza in West Philly

         Those of you close to me were probably invited to one of my many Pizza nights, an event that happened once a month, that involved buying five or six pizzas from different "Pizza Places" across West Philly, sampling the pizzas, and rating them on their quality.  Pizzas were rated on a 1 to 10 scale on overall taste, the quality of the crust, and the quality of the toppings.  Over the course of the school year, we sampled 38 different pizzas from 38 "Pizza Places" across West Philly, and have picked what we think is the best.

         What's a "Pizza Place" you say.  Well curious consumer, a "Pizza Place" for this experiment is defined as an establishment that sells at least two different kinds of "Pizza, " where a "Pizza" must have a crust, even if this crust is a bagel or pita, and have cheese, tomato sauce, or be marketed as pizza.  While were sixty some places that sold something that resembled a pizza, and a number of Chinese restaurants that sold pizza rolls, only about 38 places qualified to participate in this pizza tasting.

          The number of judges at each tasting varied between four and ten people.  The judges voted on which types of pizza to order from which restaurant.  Each restaurant and pizza was identified by a number, so that the judges did not know where the pizza came from until after judging.  Instead of picking a plain pizza from each restaurant, we tried to pick what appeared to be a specialty, or a type of pizza unique to the location.  Sometimes we may not have chosen the best pizza a restaurant had to show for itself, but a strong pizza place should be consistent in quality across the flavors it offers.  The last caveat I will identify is that all pizzas were either delivered or picked up.  Many sit in restaurants offer very good pizza, to be eaten in the restaurant, that simply do not retain their quality during the up to twelve block walk back to my house.  With all of this in mind, I present to you the results of my long, arduous, and occasionally scrumptious search for the best pizza in West Philly.

Top 5 "Pizzas"

4 (Tied). Danger Pie from Clarkville (43rd and Baltimore)

I am inserting pictures of yummy
pizza from the winning restaurants

          The Danger Pie is a slightly elevated version of a classic cheese pizza.  It is adorned with garlic tomato sauce, house mozzarella, oregano, and sea salt.  Clarkville does this pizza justice.  While not innovative, the Danger Pie tastes exactly like a pizza should, if everything were executed just right.  The crust has a nice crunch which you can enjoy in the restaurant but not if you order the pizza for carry out.  So to enjoy this pizza properly, eat it in the restaurant.  This is tied as the highest rated traditional pizza we sampled.

4 (Tied). White Pizza from Abner's Cheesesteaks (3813 Chestnut)

I lied.  This is not an image of a pizza. It not yummy.
 Do not consume.

         Abner's does not have any of the frills of some fancier pizza places.  The white pizza is topped with olive oil, garlic, mozzarella and oregano.  You should know that many of the judges do not care for white pizza, so for this one to have received the rating it did, Abner's must have done something right.  This was the highest rated traditional pizza that you can get delivered that we sampled.

3. Honey Goat Cheese Flatbread from City Tap House (3925 Walnut)

Resume yummy pizza pictures.

        City Tap House makes a host of fine flatbreads.  They are a bit fancier (read more pretentious) than other pizza's we tried, but the quality of the pizza itself was worth the higher cost and the pretentiousness.    This flatbread is adorned with red onion, pistachio pesto, rosemary, goat cheese, and truffled honey.  I don't even know how one truffles honey, but it sure does taste good.

2. Zataar and Cheese Manakeesh from Manakeesh (4420 Walnut)

I'm posting these to make you hungry.

        Calling this a pizza might be a bit of a stretch.  Manakeesh are a fluffy Lebanese flatbread.  Zataar is a flavorful middle eastern spice blend.  So this flatbread is just a mash of flavorful spices on a fluffy chunk of goodness.  The Zataar and Cheese Manakeesh may not quite cure your craving for pizza but it is certainly worth trying.

1. Chicken Tikka Pizza from Shaban (4145 Chestnut)

I hope it's working.

         So Shaban makes notably good Paneer Tikka and Chicken Tikka.  Basically they slapped one of their more successful dishes on a pizza and called it a day.  This was a spicy and interesting change of pace from ordinary pizza.

Honorable Mention 

        These pizzas made the top five in either the taste, crust, or topping category, but failed to make the top five overall.

Tres Queso Mollete from Tortas Frontera (3601 Locust Walk)

This mollete has brought honor onto
its family.

        A mollete is a mexican open faced sandwich.  However the ones served at Frontera are typically covered in cheese, tomato and toppings in just the right way to satisfy a pizza craving.  The Tres Queso Mollete is covered in sun-dried tomatoes, poblano rajas, goat cheese, chihuahua cheese, queso cotija, and chiptole garlic mojo.  What can be bad about this?  To be honest, I don't exactly know what many of the ingredients I just listed are, and do not expect you to either.  Though I assure you these mysterious toppings are quite enjoyable. The Tres Queso Mollete made the top five in both the taste and toppings category, it only failed to place because some judges took issue with it's un-pizza-like crust.  Regardless of this, the Tres Queso Mollete is hands down the best Pizza you can get on a Penn dining plan.

Royal Pizza (4200 Baltimore) and Zavino (3200 Chestnut)

You must be on the other side of this
wall to enjoy these pizzas properly.

         Both Royal Pizza and Zavino supplied pizzas that broke the top five in the crust category.  Royal Pizza was a but of a dark horse here.  Even more surprising was Zavino only making the top five in crust and not other categories.  Zavino is a well respected eat-in pizza restaurant.  The eat-in aspect is clear here.  The pizza's just don't travel well, which is probably why they don't deliver.  So try this place if you are down for a sit down meal, otherwise you are doing their pizza a disservice.

Dishonorable Mention

       Pizza's you just shouldn't eat.  In fact, I refuse to give you the addresses of these places so you don't go here and try to eat the pizza yourself.  These pizzas are counted down from least horrible to most horrible.

3. Vegetable Pizza from South Side Pizza

This is not a yummy pizza

        Something was just wrong with this pizza, likely poor quality toppings. The judges said things like "The olives are terrible","The crust is too stiff", or worst of all "This tastes like Commons Pizza."  We intentionally did not include Commons Pizza in our sample set because it wasn't worth the suffering it would cause.  Still it haunted us.

2. Veggie Lover's Pizza from Pizza Hut

Any hunger you are feeling at the  site of
this pizza is just your body betraying you.

        Why would you even get pizza from Pizza Hut?  You should know better.  The crust in particular upset the judges.  The average score for the crust was a 2.71  on a scale of 1 to 10.  This is the lowest score any pizza received in any category.

1. Margherita Pizza from Cosi

This pizza will break your heart.

        This one was a bit surprising.  The food at Cosi is reasonably good, and people have said their pizzas are as well.  The pizza we sampled had rubbery blobs of cheese, and nothing to redeem it.  It wasn't the worst in any given category, just the most consistently bad.

Complete Pizza Ranking (with scores)

1. Chicken Tikka Pizza from Shaban (Taste: 9.25, Crust: 6.5, Toppings: 9.5)
2. Zataar and Cheese Manakeesh from Manakeesh (Taste: 8.2, Crust: 7.8, Toppings: 8.2)
3. Honey Goat Cheese Flatbread from City Tap House (Taste: 8.09, Crust: 6.81, Toppings: 8)
4. Danger Pie from Clarkville (Taste: 7.14, Crust: 6.57, Toppings: 7.29)
4. White Pizza from Abner's Cheesesteaks (Taste: 7.71, Crust: 7.43, Toppings: 5.86)
6. Upsidedown Pizza from Royal Pizza (Taste: 7.4, Crust: 6.6, Toppings: 6.8)
7.  Stache from Zavino (Taste: 6.8, Crust: 6.8, Toppings: 7)
8. Greek Pizza from Colonial Pizza (Taste: 6.88, Crust: 6.5, Toppings: 7.13)
9.  Mediterranean Pizza from Accu Pizza (Taste: 7.38, Crust: 5.5, Toppings: 7)
10.  Tres Queso Mollete from Frontera (Taste: 7.43, Crust: 4.57, Toppings: 7.71)
11.  Vegetarian Flatbread from Harvest (Taste: 6.86, Crust: 5, Toppings: 7.71)
12.  Vegetarian Flatbread from Penne (Taste: 6.5, Crust: 6.25, Toppings: 6.75)
13.  Mediterranean Pizza from Savas (Taste: 6.8, Crust: 5.2, Toppings: 7.1)
14. Tropical Pizza Evan's Varsity Pizza (Taste: 6.2, Crust: 6.2, Toppings: 6.4)
14. Devil's Delight from Powelton Pizza (Taste: 6.4, Crust: 5.8, Toppings: 6.6)
16. Eggplant Pizza from Vegetate (Taste: 6.5, Crust: 5.5, Toppings: 6.75)
17. Green Pepper Pizza from Drexel Pizza (Taste: 7 Crust: 5.2, Toppings: 6.4)

18. Salsa Pizza from Mad Greek Restaurant (Taste: 6, Crust: 5.63, Toppings: 6.25)

19. A La Greek from Dock Street Brewery Co (Taste: 5.88, Crust: 5.13, Toppings: 6.75)

20. Mushroom and Onion Pizza from Enjay's Pizza/ Smokey Joe's (Taste: 6.29, Crust: 5.71, Toppings: 5.57)

21. Greek Pizza from Pasqually's Pizza (Taste: 6.19, Crust: 5.38, Toppings: 7.86)

22. White Pizza from Rana Halal (Taste: 6, Crust: 4.67, Toppings: 6)

23. Vegilicious Pizza from Penn Pizza Cafe (Taste: 5.5, Crust: 5.2, Toppings: 5.83)

24. Sicillian Pizza from Allegro Pizza (Taste: 5.86, Crust: 4.86, Toppings: 5.8)

25. White Pizza from Axis Pizza (Taste: 5.86, Crust: 6, Toppings: 4.43)

26. Greek Pizza from Stacy's Pizza and Wings (Taste: 5.4, Crust: 5.35, Toppings: 5.4)

27. Mediterranean Pizza from New Style Pizzaria (Taste: 5.6, Crust: 5.1, Toppings: 5.4)

28. White Pizza from California Pizza Kitchen (Taste: 5.29, Crust: 5.29, Toppings: 5.43)

28. Greek Pizza from Ed's Buffalo Wings and Pizza (Taste: 5.4, Crust: 5.8, Toppings: 4.8)

28. Greek Pizza from Ted's Pizza Express (Taste: 5.5, Crust: 4.88, Toppings: 5.63)

31. Vegetarian Pizza from Fiesta Pizza (Taste: 6, Crust: 4, Toppings: 5.75)

32. Spinach and Feta Pizza from Dominoes Pizza (Taste: 5.38, Crust: 5.14, Toppings: 5.13)

33. Mediteranian Pizza from Zesto Pizza  (Taste: 5.8, Crust: 4, Toppings: 5.75)

34. Cheese Pizza from Cavannaugh's (Taste: 5, Crust: 4.6, Toppings: 5.6)

35. Plain Pizza with Basil from Pizza Wings Steaks (Taste: 4.89, Crust: 4.67, Toppings: 4.63)

36. Vegetable Pizza from South Side Pizza (Taste: 3.2, Crust: 6.4, Toppings: 3)

37. Veggie Lover's Pizza from Pizza Hut (Taste: 5, Crust: 2.71, Toppings: 4.86)

38. Margherita Pizza from Cosi (Taste: 3.86, Crust: 3.14, Toppings: 4.14)

       Well there you have it, the ranking of most pizza you can get in West Philly.  Maybe you are wondering what happened to Dock Street Brewery.  Why did it preform so poorly.  Simply put, their pizzas were never intended to travel.  

        What do you think?  Did we miss your favorite pizza place, insult your favorite pizza, or inspire you to try something new?  Are you craving a slice of cheesy goodness? If nothing else this adventure has taught me that there is an overwhelming amount of mediocre pizza out there, but also that good pizza can be found in unexpected places.  So be adventurous in your search for good food.  It will often suck, but be very rewarding in the end.  Or you are less adventurous, you can just let me explore food for you and report back from the trenches.  I am happy to take requests.

Fall winter 2016/17 Trends

        While the heat of summer is still upon us, soon enough the leaves will turn and the cool of fall will set in. With a new season comes a new set of fashion trends.  While you shouldn't follow a trend just because everyone else does, it is useful to understand what clothing you will start seeing in stores, if you like it, and how to wear it if you do.  Designers presented their clothing lines for fall and winter this past February.  This gave the bloggers, magazine editors, and major retailers time to digest what they saw in the fashion shows and pick out trends among the different designers.  While these people decide what becomes a trend, we, the masses decide if a trend lasts.  Below are predicted trends for men and women for Fall and Winter of 2016 and 2017, and my thoughts on these trends.

        I have just moved to a new city, and do not have any realistic looking gentlemen on hand to pose for the male trends, or take pictures of me dressing up in the female trends, so please excuse these photos that I ripped from the internet of unrealistic people wearing the trends I describe.

Women's Clothing

Luxury Street or Sport Wear

This woman did not actually go to the
gym, she just wants you to think she did

What is it?  This is the high end version of what you would roll out of the bed wearing, or what you would wear to the gym.  That means hoodies, sweat pants, graphic leggings, and sporty looking outfits.

The Good: Luxury street wear and athletic clothing is legitimately comfortable, easy to wear, and easy to move in.  

The Bad: The Juicy Valor Track Suit is one of the most tasteless trends of the 2000's and it is easy to find oneself in such a track suit when sweats shirts and sweat pants are in style.  Luxury street wear is an expensive imitation of something meant to be affordable, and luxury sport wear is not something you can actually work out in.  There is something disingenuous about this.

How to wear it:  Maintain balance.  Wear a chunky graphic sweatshirt skinny jeans, or leggings.  Pair sweatpants with a form fitting, or cropped top and a jacket with a distinctive structure.

Velvet

This model likes her legs, which is why
she covered them in velvet, or maybe
she just likes soft things.

What is it?  Velvet is a fuzzy kind of fabric.  It is warm, heavy, and can look luxurious or old.
The Good:  This fabric will keep you warm in the winter, and is distractingly soft and fun to touch.  The color will look different from different angles and in different light.  The effect emphasizes the folds in the fabric and is very interesting to look at.  Velvet has an association with luxury and elegance.
The Bad:  They way velvet reflects light makes it hard to hide any flaws under velvet.  Too much velvet can look heavy, add volume, and resemble old people's curtains.
How to wear it:  The beauty of this fabric is how its folds look in the light.  You can capitalize on this by wearing a cowl neck, flowy sleeves, a flowy skirt, or even bell bottoms made of velvet.  Anything that can move around a bit will look interesting in the light.  You can also wear it in a form fitting way over parts of your body you want to show off.

Inspired by 100-1000 years ago

Now you are ready to conquer the World, or binge watch
Game of thrones.

What is it?  This trend is harder to name.  Designers seem to be pulling inspiration from historical European fashion.  Whether that inspiration is Medieval, Edwardian, Renaissance no one can agree.  Whatever you call it this trend is about old world grandeur and luxury.  You can expect corsets, bell sleeves, rich patterns, and dark lace.  Channel you inner Cersei Lannister.

The Good:  This trend leaves a lot of room for interpretation, which means people can follow it in their own way.  Also you get to impersonate Cersei Lannister in your clothing.

The Bad:  The trend may be difficult to tone down and translate into something reasonable to wear on a normal day.  Also Cersei Lannister is a terrible person.

How to wear it:  Wear velvet, wear lace, wear long gloves, wear ornate or metallic patterns.  Just remember to make the rest of your outfit understated to avoid looking like you are playing dress up.

Shearling Jackets

The leather makes it badass, but the fuzzy makes it
soft and full of love

What is it?  It is a leather, or fake leather jacket, with a fuzzy inside that is often visible at the cuffs and neck.  

The Good:  These are warm, practical, and can easily look badass.  

The Bad:  The fuzzy lining makes these somewhat bulky.  If you are small like me, it can be difficult to wear this without being somewhat overwhelmed by the amount of material, especially if you are wearing warm layers underneath.

How to wear it: This is a jacket, you wear it over your clothing when you go outside.  I wouldn't plan outfits around something you only wear outside.  If you feel compelled to plan your outfit around your jacket, wear a form fitting under layer and some dark form fitting pants with an interesting geometric pattern.

Layering

This is basically normal layering done backwards

What is it? You know when you wear one layer of clothing on top of another.  Though in this specific trend it is more than just piling clothing on.  The trend generally involves wearing those slip dresses, that were popular in the spring, or anything strappy and insubstantial, over a sweater.

The Good:  This sort of layering, is still layering, which will keep you warm, and allow you to adapt to changing temperatures.  Also it lets you wear clothing you would normally only wear in the summer for more of the year.

The Bad:  This style requires embracing looking a bit weird in the name of fashion.

How to wear it: Wear a form fitting, neutral colored sweater or long sleeve shirt under an interesting shirt or dress with skinny or no straps, you would normally only wear in the summer.  This will look best if the color of the two layers pair nicely, such as black and white.  For extra fashion points (whatever that means) use a sweater with the shoulders cut out, or a long sleeved shirt meant to be worn off the shoulder.   

Women's Makeup Trends

        For those of you that like putting goop on your face to look pretty, here are some new ways to put goop on your face that the fashion hire ups seem to think would be a good idea.

The Badass Who Maybe Has Some Goth Friends Look

Note the random eyeliner scribbles, yes kids
random eyeliner scribbles=fashion.  My hair is
flipped because they got a bit too scribbly on
the other eye

        This is a combination of a popular eye make up, jewelry, and lipstick trend.  No need to rock them all at the same time.  This 'look' is composed of graphic eyeliner, a choker and a dark lip.  By graphic eyeliner, I mean noticeable eyeliner in interesting shapes.  This could be an above and below the eye cat eye, or it could mean drawing a bunch of straight lines around your eye with an eyeliner stick until something looks cool.  A choker is a little necklace worn directly against the neck, sort of choking you, hence the name choker.  Some people are wearing black lipstick.  This will make your lips look rather small.  To avoid this effect, or if you are not ready to revisit your goth stage from high school, I suggest trying dark reds and dark  purples.  This can still look edgy and mysterious, without looking like the mistress of darkness (unless that is what you were going for).

The Person Who Played in the Snow and Returned Perfectly Made Up

It is 95 degrees out, but let's just pretend I played
in the snow and emerged wearing a ton of
mascara.

        This is another collection of trends that can be put together or worn separately.  This includes long piecy eyelashes, a pink flush, and glitter.  The long piecy eyelashes entails a large amount of mascara, or fake lashes, on both the upper and lower lid.  The pink flush is meant to look like you were just outside in the cold, and your cheeks are pink as a result.  This is meant to be very soft, and not contoured.  Just put extra (pink) blush on your cheeks  and nose.  Finally just put the glitter on wherever it makes you happy.  Maybe it is spread evenly over your face, maybe there are surprise attack clumps over your eyes.  Just remember, once you open up any sort of glitter, it will get everywhere, and never fully come off.

Men's Clothing

        While men do not have the same opportunity to experiment with fashion, I still highly encourage all of you well dressed, or aspiring to be well dressed man creatures to try out any of the fall trends here that look interesting to you.

Military Jackets

Dear Men, Please wear this. Please

What are they? These are meant to be old school military style jackets, what a general or young well dressed revolutionary might have worn in the 1800's.  Large lapels, double breasted, navy colors, or ornamentation are some ideas of what to expect in these jackets.

The Good:  These jackets look very cool and powerful, who doesn't want to look cool and powerful?

The Bad: Military style can be a bit severe, or a bit too much material to carry on a smaller frame.  And maybe some of you actually don't like looking cool and powerful.

How to Wear it:  It is a jacket, you wear it over your clothing when you go outside.  If you want to coordinate with it, slim fit dark pants, maybe in a deep shade of red even, will look good with the jacket.

Fuzzy Jackets

I question whether this man actually fought
a bear for this jacket.

What are they? Maybe you are not into this military jacket thing.  Maybe you would rather look like you fought a bear, killed it, and are now wearing it as a warning to any other bears who might cross your path.  Well then these jackets are for you, they are jackets made of fur, or with fur accents. Please opt for fake fur, and please do not actually kill any bears for your winter wear.

The Good: These are quite warm, soft, and bold jackets, especially the ones that are all fur.

The Bad: These are rather bold and ostentatious.  If you do not want to call too much attention to yourself this is not the jacket for you.  Also this trend may encourage more people to buy real fur.

How to Wear it:  People will not likely notice much other than the furry jacket.  As long as you do not wear ludicrous attention grabbing pants, you should be fine.  For a more subtle look just opt for a jacket with a fuzzy lapel.

Shiny

Look shiny isn't scary.  You can start
with leather accents if it is less
intimidating.

What is it? This trend encompasses slightly shiny fabrics, metal accents, and yes even sequins.

The Good:  The shiny fabric can either be subtle or flashy depending on what you choose to wear.  It can make on outfit look more fancy, and can be paired with matte colors to create interesting effects or draw someone's eye to specific places.

The Bad:  Most men are not ready for sequins.  Shiny fabrics can look cheap and tacky.  Even worse they can make it look like you are trapped in an 80's music video.

How to Wear it:  A good place to start is with suits or pants made of shinier fabrics.  If you want to be adventurous and try very shiny fabrics, just incorporate the shine into details in your clothing.  Maybe a jacket has shiny sleeves, or a shiny lapel.  A good rule to follow is the more shiny fabric you wear at once, the less shiny the fabric itself should be.

Baggy Suits

What is it? These are loose fitting, even flowing suits.

Dear Men, Please do not give up the
skinny suit for this. Fight the power!

The Good:  For those of you that didn't like skinny suits, or didn't look good in them, here is an alternative.  The legs may flow in an interesting way when you walk.  The extra room should be more comfortable.

The Bad: This may open the door to men just wearing ugly ill fitting suits.  Those of you that rocked the skinny suit, may see them falling out of style.

How to Wear it:  This is just a style of suit, you can still rock any color that you would usually.  You may want to avoid patterns because you will resemble old people curtains.  Make sure the suit fits you properly.  Just because he fit is looser and flows is no excuse to wear a dumpy ill fitting suit.

Copper

He is clearly happy about his color coordinating
skills.

What is it? Well Copper is an element represented by Cu on the periodic table, but in this case I am referring to the color copper, the rich orangey brownish color of a penny.

The Good:  Looks good on a variety of skin tones, is a pleasant warm color, can be paired with other colors.

The Bad:  Looks bad if your skin is close to the color of your clothing.  

How to Wear it: You can wear as much or as little copper as you want.  It will look good with deep blues or grays which will balance the color, warm reds or yellows which will compliment the warmth of the color, and tans and browns, which will be neutral.

        Trends are an artificial and trends can convince people to wear ugly and ludicrous things.  But trends also introduce new ideas and variety into fashion.  So use these for inspiration, rock what you like, but don't take them too seriously, only some will survive the winter.