Dress Yourself Confident

        Last week I talked about body image, and how fashion helped me develop a healthy relationship with my body .  I achieved this healthy relationship by defining my own ideals, and dressing to show off the traits I like.  I consider this body-positive fashion--dressing to highlight the things you like instead of dressing to cover up flaws or fit a manufactured ideal.  Most fashion advice I come across tells you how to look a particular way, which conveys the idea that there is a right way to look.  There isn't.

        Today I will discuss how to dress in a way that helps your self image.  I won't tell you how to look taller, or how to look thinner, or how to look curvier.  Who am I to say that being tall or thin or curvy will make you feel good about yourself?  I will also not tell you how to hide features.  So many tutorials on how to dress tell you how to hide things that they decide are "bad."  I am not interested in reinforcing any particular beauty standard, nor do I want to encourage people to fixate on their flaws.  Instead, I will explain how to show off traits you like about yourself, and how to dress to celebrate your body as it is now.  You get to decide what to show off based on what you think is beautiful.  I am just here to explain how to do it.


        There are a few basic ways to show off features you like:

1. You can expose them, (as long as you aren't breaking any nudity laws).  
2. You can put something attention grabbing over these traits, such as a bright color, or bold pattern.  
3. You can choose a cut of clothing that draws the eye to this trait. 

        All of the advice I will give that focuses on how to play up your best features falls into one of these categories.  As there are many parts of the body, I will not be able to tell you how to play up every single feature.  If you find that a feature you really love about yourself is not discussed below, use the general techniques I listed above to emphasize your beloved trait.

        Another way to dress for body confidence is to reference an era in which your body type was the ideal.  I will discuss this a bit farther down.

        Gentlemen, I have advice for you as well.  Just scroll down past the ladies section to find it.

Ladies

Arms/shoulders

Michelle Obama is wearing a high neck dress
to show off her Michelle Obama arms.
You too can show off your Michelle Obama arms
if you wear a dress with a similar neck.

        Showing off your arms and shoulders almost always requires you to actually expose your arms or shoulders.  Shoulder cutouts and clothing with decorated shoulders have both been in fashion recently.  These look cool, but do not typically show enough of your shoulders to reveal their full glory.


        Anything with a high neck and no sleeves  will show off your shoulders and arms very nicely.  Any sort of halter top will work as well, but I think the high neck tops show off shoulders best.   If you do not mind sacrificing arm mobility, off-the-shoulder tops will also show off your shoulders, but a bit less than the other types of tops.

Back

We're bringing sexy-back back

        The back is an underappreciated body part, one that can look quite sexy or beautiful when given the chance.  If you have an awesome back (whatever constitutes an awesome back in your book), the best way to show it off is to literally show it off.  Wear a backless dress or shirt to show off the back.  If you need to wear a bra and want to show off your back, consider a lace or sheer back instead.  It will still show off your back, without showing off your bra.  You can also just wear an awesome bra and show that off.  I am talking about the bras with the extra straps and lace in the back, the ones that were clearly designed to be shown off.  If you wear these you get the double whammy of showing off your back and your excellent taste in undergarments.

Chest

        Unfortunately, nudity laws in most states forbid women from showing off their great chests by exposing said great chests.  So we need to get a bit more creative in playing up this feature while not "disturbing the peace."  Anything bodycon or form fitting will call attention to your chest.  Wrap dresses (which show off your entire figure) tend to flatter chests nicely.  Anything with a scoop or V-neck should also be flattering.  The sweetheart neckline will also bring the ladies front and center.  If you are feeling daring, rock a plunging neckline.  I don't even have any cleavage and I feel unstoppable in a plunging neckline.  Imagine how powerful you random readers who actually do have cleavage will be in a plunging neckline.

She has cleavage and a plunging neckline.  Now
she is a super hero.  That's why she has a cape.

Waist

        The natural waist is the narrowest point between your chest and hips.  Showing off your waist is one way to show off your entire figure.  So if you are lazy and don't want to think about how to flatter your chest, and your waist, and your hips, and your legs, just focus on your waist.  Many things that compliment your waist make everything else look good as well.

Woah it's me! In a crop top and big skirt.
It's almost as if I really want you to appreciate my waist.
APPRECIATE!

        The first option is just to expose your waist.  Yay! This is legal. Wear a crop top and a high waisted skirt or pants.  Let there be a gap at your natural waist.

        If it is too cold to expose this strip of skin, or you prefer not to show your midriff, you still have many options.

        Wear a belt over your clothing at your natural waist.  You don't need pant belt loops, your waist is powerful.  It will hold the belt in place.  If you are wearing a jacket or cardigan, put the belt over this as it will pull all of the material in at your waist, and draw attention to it.

        Wear something that flares out just below your waist, such as a peplum or flare skirt.

          You can also have the break in your clothing happen at your natural waist.  Tuck a shirt into something high waisted. The eye will be drawn to the line between your shirt and bottoms, and thus to your waist.  High waisted items get bonus points because they flatter legs as well.

Tummy

        Most people want to hide their tummies, but not you.  You are a rebel with your own beauty standards--or maybe just a person whose stomach fits the current ideal.  As with your chest, anything tight or bodycon will show off your tummy.  You can also just wear a crop top and leg coverings that start at your hips and not your natural waist.  This will allow you to share the glory that is your stomach with the world most directly.  High waisted shorts and pants also draw attention to the stomach.  Some people think mushing their stomach into something high waisted will hide it.  This won't happen. The shorts will fit snugly over your stomach, emphasizing it's shape. So if you love your tummy, tight dresses, bare midriffs, and high waisted pants are the way to go.

Hips/ Bum bum

        Again tight/bodycon dresses and skirts will let the rest of the world appreciate your hips and booty as much as you do.  Colorful pants, leggings and jeggings will also call attention to your hips and butt.  It is easier to see how clothing lies on the body when the clothing has a simple pattern.  Therefore, jeans or leggings with a pattern will emphasize your shape more than single color ones.  However a very busy pattern will draw more attention than the actual body underneath.  I'm looking at you galaxy leggings.

You will be so mesmerized by the mysteries of the universe
you will forget all about the mysteries of the legs in the galaxy pants.

        For some reason all butts look good in yoga pants.  So if you happen to have a butt, which I sincerely hope you do, yoga pants are for you.  All of these things I just mentioned except the body condress also flatter your legs.

Legs

        The great things about legs is that you can expose them in public.  This is the easiest way to show them off.  Wear short skirts or short shorts.  You can get away with showing more of your legs with a high-waisted skirt or pair of shorts than you can with ones that start at your hips.  High-waisted things make it look like you are wearing more clothing than you actually are, so you can look refined, while showing off all of the legs.

        High shoes force you to flex the muscles in your legs and butt to maintain balance.  This shows off the shape and muscles in your legs very nicely.  You can exaggerate this effect further with sheer or patterned stockings.  The sheer material or pattern will look different at different angles as it sits on your legs.  This emphasizes the contours of your legs and reminds the rest of the world that your legs cannot be stopped.

Mrs. Robinson knew the power of a good pair of stockings

Pick an Era for Inspiration

        Maybe you just aren't feeling yourself right now.  Maybe there isn't anything you really like that you want to show off.  I truly hope that's not the case, but it happens, and you shouldn't be hard on yourself about it.  You are already being hard on yourself. Don't be hard on yourself for being hard on yourself.  INCEPTION SELF LOATHING.

        As I have said, the ideal female body has changed drastically over the years.  One way to help you build confidence and dress in a way that best suits you is to reference an era in which your body type was the ideal.  I guarantee you there was a time and a place when people built like you were the gold standard of beauty.  Obviously don't put on a Halloween costume to look like a person from a historical era(at least not for a few more weeks).  Instead use historical style applied to modern clothing to achieve something that celebrates your body.

Curvy Builds

        Sir Mix-a-lot, and Nicki Minaj have sung their praises of a curvy body.  Mainstream beauty standards are beginning to shift toward embracing curvier builds, but the fashion industry has not quite caught up.  Not to worry though.  A curvy build has been the ideal more than once in the past century.  

This is the Gibson Girl she is too busy
being elegant to bother with you plebians

        Good reference eras are 1910's and the 1950's.  These were the times when a dramatic hourglass figure was idealized, so clothing was designed to best compliment those figures.

        In the early 1900's the Gibson girl, an elegant curvy woman with an exceptionally small waist, was the ideal.  Today full figures are often very sexualized, so the refined and curvaceous Gibson Girl provides a unique avenue for curvy women to appreciate their bodies without sexualizing them.  To achieve this look in a modern way, focus on emphasizing your waist.  The section above on how to draw attention to your waist will explain how to do this.  To achieve the elegance of the Gibson Girl, mix form fitting clothing that compliments your figure with more modest elements.  A bodycon maxi dress, or a form fitting top and pants with a loose jacket can achieve this.

        1950's fashion remains relevant today.  Tight crop tops with full high waisted skirts, fit and flare dresses, sweetheart necklines, and high waisted anything, are modern items that draw from 1950's fashion.  As a result, they compliment curvy girls and don't look like costumes.

Straight Builds

        Contrary to popular belief, flappers were not particularly thin women.  They wanted to achieve a straight boyish figure, but not necessarily a thin one.  So I don't care what you weigh, if you have a straight figure, by which I mean you do not have a well defined waist, then 1920's flapper style is for you.  The flappers didn't need curves to be sexy, in fact they did everything to hide their curves.  Instead they focused on showing off their arms, legs, back and attitude.  You can look at the above sections on how to show off all of these things.

These flappers don't care to be skinny, or curvy.  They threw away
all the old fashion rules and looked cool doing it.

        The hallmark of flapper fashion was the dropped waist.  Shirts would end, and skirts would begin at their hips.  You can channel this by wearing dresses without built-in waists, dresses with dropped waists, or long shirts with a skirt worn at the hips.

        You can also channel the flapper in spirit by wearing more androgynous clothing like loose pants, shirts and edgy tailored jackets.  

Skinny Builds

Just something to wear while watching a Mad
Men marathon.

        The "waif" look was very popular in the 1960's and 1990's.  

        In the 1960's, mod style idealized a thin fragile build.  The most currently wearable mod item is a short, straight dress.  This is intended to downplay the figure and show off the legs.  Much of women's mod fashion was quite androgynous, so menswear inspired clothing is another flattering option for skinny women.

        In the 1990's, heroin chic became the new ideal.  Heroin chic describes a woman who looks a bit like a well dressed drug-addict.  She is thin, pale, and angular. Fortunately for all of the skinny girls out there, this look is making a come-back. The clothing from this time was typically loose, shapeless, and distressed.  The look, when done correctly, can be effortlessly cool.  Slip dresses and loose ripped jeans paired with a loose half tucked in shirt are fashionable today, and were fashionable in the 1990's 

Athletic Build

Just because she can't wear this clothing to the gym
does not mean she cannot still crush you while wearing it.

        Looking healthy and athletic was idealized in the 1980's.  Much of the fashion from the 80's poses the risk of blinding people with neon, trapping them in puffy sleeves or choking them with hair-spray.  I would avoid drawing literal inspiration from 1980's fashion.  Much of the clothing emphasized the legs or used tight or spandex fabric to show off women's jazzer-cise sculpted bodies.  The modern athleisure trend has roots in this.  Athleisure is a trend of dressing like you are going to the gym to not work out.  It typically includes leggings, sports bra style tops, crop tops, and oversized tank tops.  Dressing to emphasize your powerful legs, and wearing clothing currently marketed as athleisure are the best ways to compliment an athletic build.

Men

        Body positivity is a bit different for men than it is for women.  I can tell you, without question, that men struggle with their body image, yet there just isn't much conversation about it.  Perhaps men find it emasculating to admit to struggling with their own bodies, and thus the body image conversations never start.   Men who do struggle with their own bodies have fewer tools on hand to address it than women do. Men's fashion is much less complicated and expressive than women's fashion is.  While it is possible to find advice encouraging women to embrace their good traits, almost all of the advice I could find on dressing different male body types focused on making men look like they fit the current ideal.  Forget the current ideal.

         As with women's ideals, the ideal male body has changed repeatedly over the past century.  Because men's fashion does not focus on emphasizing specific traits, I will focus on discussing how to dress in a way that best flatters your build based on historical male ideals.  If you find that you do not fit into any of the categories listed below, read about all of the ones you sort of fit.  You will likely be able to pull some advice from more than one category.

General Male builds from left to right:
Trapazoid, Rectangle, Upside-down triangle, Oval, Triangle

Heavy build (Oval / Triangle)

        Up until the twentieth century, extra weight signified a man's success, and was thus desirable.  If you look at pictures of wealthy men from the late 1800's and early 1900's you will see some impeccably dressed but distinctly heavy gentlemen.  Their clothing allowed them to translate their girth into an imposing yet refined presence.  Men's clothing from this time was quite intricate.  While I wouldn't tell you to dress like a robber baron, you can learn from their style to improve yours.  If you are a heavier guy, you have the ability to wear more intricate outfits with more accessories than thinner men.  The extra fabric will not overwhelm your body.  Emulate the robber baron's old world elegance with vests, suspenders, cardigans, or scarves (but please not all at once).  These are the modern ways to introduce the intricacy of  turn-of-the-century men's fashion into an outfit.

OG's of the business world

        During the 1950's, men's suits became their largest and most loose fitting.  While larger men were not exactly idealized in the 1950's, the clothing itself was very friendly to heavier men.  From the 1950's we can pull suits with a straight fit, wide lapels, and large ties.  The larger lapels and ties are flattering because they will be more in proportion with your body.  Long coats, particularly trench coats and double-breasted coats are great options as well.  These jackets would overwhelm a thin man, but are perfectly manageable for larger men.

The extra weight really does help one rock a vest

Skinny Men (Rectangle)

Let's all take a moment to appreciate the
skinny suit.

        It appears trends in ideal men's body types roughly track the same way that women's do.  In the 1960's the counterculture made skinny men the ideal.  This ideal shows itself in the skinny suit that emerged as a reaction against the loose, wide suits of the 1950's.  You can emulate this mad men cool with slimmer fitting clothing.  Everything you wear should be proportional to your body.  Focus on skinny or slim fit jeans, skinny suits, jackets and shirts that come in at the waist, slim fitting cardigans, and skinny ties.  If something has the word skinny, or slim built into the name, it is likely meant for you.

Muscular Men (Upside-down triangle)

        The macho muscular man was idealized in the 1980's.  However, after looking into men's fashion from the 1980's, I cannot in good conscience encourage you to dress that way.  If you wish to do so, please research 1980's fashion yourself.  

The Rock works hard to be The Rock.
He wants you to appreciate that he is The Rock.
So The Rock wears shirts that come in at the waist.

        If you are putting effort into achieving a muscular physique, you probably want to show it off.  The main fashion problem muscular men face is finding clothing that fits them properly.  The key to complimenting your build is finding clothing that tapers in at the waist.  Look for T-shirts that taper in at the waist, or athletic fit button-down shirts.  You may also want to wear V- or scoop-neck shirt as these will give you more room up top.  A fitted sweater can nicely show off all of your hard work and be used in layering as well.  You will want to balance out your broader torso with your pants.  Straight cut jeans are your best option for achieving this balance.

Trapezoid Man

        Congratulations trapezoid man!  You fit the current male ideal.  Wearing current fashions should suit your body nicely.  If you are not sure what current fashion is, you can read the men's section of my article on fall fashion.  In general you should be looking for items that fall between what the muscular, and skinny men wear.  Slim fit pants, jackets, suits, and button downs that taper in at the waist will best compliment your trapezoidal physique.

Look at those parallel lines!
Now that's sexy.

        It does not matter what your body looks like.  It houses you, which makes it pretty amazing.  Sometimes we need a teeny bit of help remembering how amazing our bodies are.  Dressing to best compliment them can undoubtedly help with that.  Generally, this is done by playing up good traits or pulling inspiration from an era in which our bodies were the ideal.  Try the above advice and remind yourself, and the rest of the world, how epic the body that houses you is.