The Good, the Bad, the Smoothie: Ranking of West Philly Smoothies

        If you read my best pizza or best hot chocolate in West Philly posts you might be starting to suspect I spend all of my time sampling food from as many places as possible.  I wouldn't say all of my time, but I do do this quite a bit.  As a result I have one last set of rankings for you.  In my pizza post I said we had monthly pizza nights.  Really they were pizza and smoothie nights.  We needed something we could pretend was healthy to balance all of the pizza.

        Similar to the process we used for pizzas, four to ten judges tried five or six smoothies in a single night.  The judges voted on which smoothie to try from each smoothie vendor using a menu identified by a number.  This avoided biasing their responses in favor of or against places they expected to have better or worse smoothies.  A smoothie was defined as a blended beverage that is composed primarily of fruit, or fruit and yogurt, or is specifically labeled as a smoothie or lassi.  A lassi is an Indian yogurt based drink and a close relative of the smoothie.   Ice cream based drinks such as milkshakes did not count as smoothies.  Slushies did not count as smoothies either,  not that those contain anything resembling fruit anyway.   Smoothies were rated on a scale of 1 to 10 based on taste and texture.  We tried about 31 smoothies in search of the best one.  Below are the  'fruits' of months of arduous smoothie sampling labor.

Top Five Smoothies

5. Pumpkin Chai Smoothie from Kaffa Crossing (4423 Chestnut)

You don't need to stoop to this level.
You have other options

I don't know how many times I need to expound the glories of Kaffa Crossing to convince you guys to visit it for yourselves.  Among other things, they make very good and very interesting smoothies.  Most of their smoothies include cinnamon, honey, spices, raisins or some combination of the above, which makes them stand out from other smoothie vendors. The pumpkin chai smoothie contains pumpkin, chai, cinnamon, nutmeg, and banana.  Drink it, and satisfy your pumpkin spice craving without fear of becoming basic. 

3 (Tied). The Peaches and Cream Lassi from Mood Cafe (4618 Baltimore)

Lassi all day everyday

Accidental sexual implications in the name aside, the Peaches and Cream Lassi from Mood Cafe is just one of perhaps 100 lassis offered by this fine establishment.  Yes, 100 flavors of lassi.  Most of us are lucky to find 3 flavors in your typical Indian restaurant.  If you are wondering, a lassi is an Indian yogurt based drink, close enough to a smoothie to be called one.  Generally they only come in mango, sweet, and salty flavors (the salty lassi will be relevant later).  Mood Cafe offering so many flavors and executing them so well is a big deal.  If you are looking specifically for lassi, this is probably the best you can get anywhere in Philly.

3(Tied). The World Cafe Live Smoothie from OCF Coffee House (2930 Chestnut)

CAUTION: This is not a smoothie
Do not drink!

Don't get confused.  This smoothie is named for the World Cafe Live but served at OCF Coffee House. I am pretty sure the smoothies doesn't actually taste like the World Cafe Live, but I can't guarantee that.  I have never licked the World Cafe Live building.  The smoothie contains pineapple, banana, arugula, and orange juice.  The arugula was the unexpected ingredient that made this smoothie particularly pleasant.  It introduced just a bit of kick to balance the sweetness of the smoothie.

2. Passion Fruit Smoothie from Ochatto (3618 Chestnut)

Look at Ochatto, sneaking around and
pretending to be a different restaurant.

Ochatto offers many flavors of smoothies.  They also give you the unique option of picking the sweetness of your smoothie.  We picked the low sugar option.  I highly suggest this option because it allowed us to enjoy the tartness of the passion fruit, and continue to pretend that we were drinking something healthy.  On an odd note Ochatto used to be called Chattime.  You may find it easier to learn about Ochatto under its former alias Chattime.

1. Pina Colada Smoothie from Mediterranean Cafe (3409 Walnut)

=UNSTOPPABLE

This was a very unexpected winner given the number of fine smoothie establishments in West Philly, and the fact that Mediterranean Cafe is part of a food court next to CVS.  Maybe pineapple and coconut are just an unbeatable combo.  Whatever the reason for its victory, this smoothie did win fair and square.  It taught us all not to judge a book by its cover, nor a smoothie by its presence in a food court cafe.

Honorable Mention

These fruits are heroically going forth to  provide
you with excellent smoothie

Peanut Butter Banana Smoothie from Surf City Squeeze (30th Street Station)

This is a rather self explanatory smoothie; it was a well made cup of banana peanut buttery goodness. This smoothie made the top five in the taste category but failed to make the overall top five.

Fruit Carts

There are many fruit carts, at least four, in University City that sell pureed fruity goodness.  They are surprisingly hard to track down for smoothie night testing, so we were not able to sample them all. But there are many, and their number is growing.  So I encourage any other  lover of smoothies to give these fruit carts a proper investigation.

Something to eat when you want to feel impressive

Brown Sugar Bakery (219 S 52nd) and Hibiscus Cafe (4907 Catherine)

Brown Sugar Bakery and Hibiscus Cafe both offer distinctive ingredients, such as spices or irish moss if you are hoping to sound impressive with your food choices, and flavor combination that I have not found elsewhere.  They did not do too well up against other smoothies, but we might have just picked the wrong flavors.  They are still worth exploring for something different.  By something different I mean paying the cashier through a bullet proof glass window.

Dishonorable Mention

It is difficult to make a bad smoothie.  In fact on average the smoothies we tried were enjoyable.  These places however put in the extra effort into making their smoothies extra bad.

3. Kale and Pineapple Smoothie from Satellite Cafe

A place to go to discuss undercuts and anarchist theory
Not a place to go to drink smoothies

You might remember the Satellite Cafe from my hot chocolate post.  Not only do they make hot chocolate that only a self hating hipster could enjoy, they also make smoothies that only people too cool to have taste buds would seek out.  We should have known it would be bad when kale was in the name of the smoothie.  In their notes one judge wrote, "I DON'T LIKE KALE."  Okay, that judge was me, I don't like kale, but the other judges disliked this smoothie too.  They felt it tasted too bland or too strongly of banana to be enjoyable.

2. Durian Smoothie from Saigon Pho & Cafe

Just look at the durian.
It clearly has no intention of being eaten

I admit, we cannot entirely blame Saigon on this one.  Durian is a horribly smelly fruit.  It would be silly to expect it to taste good.  Of course we did, and paid dearly for our foolishness.  Saigon is still somewhat responsible because they did put this on their menu.  Someone there must have thought it was good enough to sell.  I disagree.  

1. Salty Lassi from Tandoor India

This is a salt lassi.
You can understand what inspired some of
the more unconventional flavor comparisons.

We were not prepared for the salty lassi.  The taste is meant to be sweet and salty, which our uncultured palletes did not take kindly to in a smoothie type drink.  Some judges thought it resembled alfredo sauce.  Another judge said it tasted like a worse version of jizz.  After one judge pointed this out, a few simply refused to taste it at all.  It was that bad.  This reaction was not solely the result of our unfamiliarity with salty lassi.  Our resident lassi experts confirmed that Tandoor India supplied a rather poor beverage, even for salty lassi standards.

The official ranking and scores

1. Pina Colada Smoothie from Mediterranean Cafe (Taste 8.8, Texture 7.4)

2. Passion Fruit Smoothie from Ochatto (Taste 8.29, Texture 7.14)

3. Peaches and Cream Lassi from Mood Cafe (Taste 7.5, Texture 7.17)

3. World Cafe Live Smoothie from OCF Coffee House (Taste 8, Texture 6.67)

5. Fresh Fruit Cart on 35th and Market (Taste 7.4, Texture 7.2)

6. Pumpkin Chai Smoothie from Kaffa Crossing (Taste 7.63, Texture 6.71)

7. Banana Peanut Butter Smoothie from Surf City Squeeze (Taste 7.5, Texture 6.75)

8. Mango Lassi from Desi Chaat House (Taste 7.13, Texture 6.75)

9. Papaya Smoothie from Brown Sugar Bakery (Taste 7.2, Texture 6.6)

10. Peach Smoothie from Joe's Cafe (Taste 7, Texture 6.75)

10. Strawberry Lassi from New Delhi (Taste 7.38, Texture 6.38)

12. Mango Lassi from Sitar India (Taste 6.38, Texture 6.57)

13. Heidi Ho Cafe (Taste 7.2, Texture 6.2)

14. Kaleatta Smoothie from Honeygrow (Taste 6.71, Texture 6.33)

15. Sweet Lassi from Desi Village (Taste 6.33, Texture 6.67)

16. Super Pomegranate Smoothie from Ben and Jerry's (Taste 6.86, Texture 5.86)

17. Mango Lassi from Kabobeesh (Taste 6.5, Texture 6.13)

17. Mango Lime Smoothie from Currito Burritos (Taste 6.5, Texture 6.13)

17. Tropical Smoothie from Saigon Cuisie (Taste 7.38, Texture 5.25)

20. Strawberry Banana Smoothie from Wawa (Taste 6.17, Texture 6.33)

21. Peanut Punch Smoothie from Hibiscus Cafe (Taste 6.6, Texture 5.6)

22. Pineapple Mango Smoothie from Fresh Fruit Salad Cart on 36th and Spruce (Taste 5.4, Texture 6.2)

23. Mango Pineapple Smoothie from Saxby's (Taste 5.67, Texture 5.67)

24. Ashley Smoothie from Milk and Honey Market (Taste 5.86, Texture 5.29)

25. Avocado Smoothie from Sankee (Taste 6.2, Texture 4.8) 

26. Tropical Paradise Smoothie from Pottruck (Taste 5.67, Texture 4.67)

27. Orange Mango Smoothie from Starbucks (Taste 5.13, Texture 5)

28. Mango, Tumeric and Cardamom Smoothie from Bliss Juices and Icecream/ Manakeesh (Taste 4.75, Texture 4.25)

29. Kale Pineapple Smoothie from Satellite Cafe (Taste 4, Texture 4.2)

30. Durian Smoothie from Saigon Pho & Cafe (Taste 4.25, Texture 3.63)

31. Salty Lassi from Tandoor India (Taste 1.5, Texture 4.33)

        After nine months and 31 smoothies here we are.  As with the best pizzas, the best smoothies came from some rather unexpected places.  Fortunately most smoothies are enjoyable, so you can try smoothies reasonably far down on the list before regretting your life decisions.  I found that the smoothie flavor can have a bigger impact on how good the smoothie is than the establishment selling the smoothie.  So look for places with interesting menus, and give the places that fared worse the benefit of the doubt.  These establishments might be capable of making good normal flavored smoothies.  Oh, and don't get a smoothie with a fruit flavor you already expect to be awful (like Durian).  Now go my fruit loving minions, go with this newfound knowledge and explore the smoothie goodness that West Philly has to offer!